Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
