She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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