The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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