Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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