I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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