you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
