I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You've changed since you got that strap on
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
