It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
50% drunk capacity currently
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize