i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
