i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
