Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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