Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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