Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
