plz talk dirty to me
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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