Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
