I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
