i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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