Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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