we made out on top of his cat.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
