would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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