and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I see more hoeing in ur future
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