whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just sucked dick on a ferry
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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