She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
