Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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