Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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