just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
