The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Even my vagina gasped.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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