Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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