I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
