I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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