I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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