I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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