and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
