just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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