im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You're like the curious george of whores
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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