I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You were trust falling into bushes
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize