i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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