My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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