Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
