why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
