one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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