once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
