so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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