you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
