on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
