Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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