He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
