I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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