i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
