my soul wont recognize me after tonight
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Randomize
