There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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