I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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