great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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