You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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