I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
