they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
