Me too!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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